It has been said that suffering is having what you do not want (singleness), and wanting what you do not have (a husband)

Longing for what you do not have is a universal condition. It is not limited to singles. It is true that the longing for a husband can be satisfied on your wedding day, but that longing is soon replaced by desires and expectations about the marriage relationship that may not be satisfied in a thousand lifetimes. If you are presently discontent as a single woman, you can count on being dissatisfied as a married woman in the future.

If you are discontent as a single woman, you will be dissatisfied as a married woman.
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The mystery of contentment often seems to escape the understanding of the single woman. She assumes that her circumstances justify her condition and give her permission to remain dissatisfied with her life assignment. Not having learned how to lay down the terrible burden of always wanting life to be on her terms, she continues to struggle with the torture of her desires. The restlessness caused by her desire for what she does not have makes waiting seem an impossible task. In fact, to the discontented woman, the word wait probably compares to a cuss word in her mind. A Lady in Waiting finds her capacity to wait for God’s best to be rooted in contentment.

A Lady in Waiting finds her capacity to wait for God’s best to be rooted in contentment.
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If you would like more information on this topic you can read a free preview of my new book The New Lady in Waiting here: Free Preview or get it here Buy The New Lady in Waiting.

Have a question or comment? Let me know on Twitter or Facebook.

How does physical intimacy ruin a good relationship?

When I first became a Christian, and had newly left behind a sex-saturated dating mentality, I started dating this wonderful Christian guy. His commitment to moral purity touched my heart profoundly. After dating for a year, this young man’s moral purity was challenged by a young woman—me!

I had assumed the inevitability of moving toward the sexual brink, especially since we were talking about a future life together. I only understood a dating world where sexual sin was actually one of the requirements. When this godly young man broke up with me, I was absolutely devastated. After recovering from the shock, the Lord very kindly brought to my mind a night when this young man and I went too far. We went to the No Zone for a moment—but the moment ended our relationship!

Spiritual passion makes it difficult to see that God also set physical limits to protect you...
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Hebrews 13:4 (NIV) very clearly says that “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” God judges the sin of immorality. It feels awful to be separated from your Lord by the guilt of sin.

Actions speak louder than words, and this is especially true regarding premarital sex.

It is difficult to share Christ with one who knows your reputation. Your actions can also cause weaker brothers and sisters to stumble. One night of passion can totally destroy a reputation you have built over a lifetime.

It is difficult to share Christ with one who knows your reputation.
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The spiritual side of sex is often overlooked. Even many Christians are not aware of the profoundly spiritual nature of their sex lives. A person will feel acute spiritual pain and separation from God when engaging in sex outside of marriage, but may not even realize how spiritually beneficial and unifying sex is within marriage.

God does not intend to deny you pleasure. He protects you so you might enjoy physical health, emotional stability, relational intimacy, and spiritual blessings. If you marry, He wants you to grow more in love with your husband with each passing year. He wants you to live in complete trust of one another and spend a lifetime in love instead of the consequences of a fleeting night of uncontrolled lust.

If you would like more information on this topic you can read a free preview of my new book The New Lady in Waiting here: Free Preview or get it here Buy The New Lady in Waiting.

Have a question or comment? Let me know on Twitter or Facebook.

Think of it this way.

Mr. Right comes over one day and begins to speak of his devotion to you. He says what you have been waiting to hear: “I love you. I give you my heart completely. For 364 days of every year, I will devote myself to you and you only.” But then he adds, “However, one day each year I want to date others and see what I have missed. Don’t worry; you can have all the rest. Will you marry me?”

What would your response be? Would you want this kind of devotion? Would it be selfish of you to deny him his heart just one day a year to give to others? No! Absolutely not. You would want his total love and devotion.

You would want his heart all 365 days a year.
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Similarly, giving Christ your heart means you are not free to give it away to other things or people that come into your life (in idolatry). You can’t give a part to relationships that delight you in this world and still seek God with a whole heart.

You cannot keep part of your heart for something that may seem better if it comes along. Devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ is giving everything or nothing at all. Your devotion to Christ must be a serious commitment to His Lordship.

You can’t give part of your heart to this world & still seek God with a whole heart.
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Christ loves you and is completely committed to you. Wholeheartedly devote yourself to loving and enjoying Him in return, 365 days a year.

If you would like more information on this topic you can read a free preview of my new book The New Lady in Waiting here: Free Preview or get it here Buy The New Lady in Waiting.

Have a question or comment? Let me know on Twitter or Facebook.

Why do women tend to “go after the guys”?

“Insecurity among women is epidemic, but it is not incurable. Don’t expect it to go away quietly, however. We’re going to have to let truth scream louder to our souls than the lies that have infected us,” says Beth Moore, and I agree.

The father of lies (see John 8:44) screams lies at our hearts daily. We can only scream back if our hearts are wallpapered with the truth (see John 8:32). We, as well as our girls, need to learn how to scream at the liar! It may seem a contradiction of a Lady in Waiting to be screaming, but there are times when we need to.

Truth #1— Do Not Label Yourself Negatively

Self-condemnation leaves no room for loving others.
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If you’re hard on yourself, you’re hard on others.

…Love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:39).

Truth #2—Behave Assertively, With God-Confidence

God-confidence is the opposite of arrogance and pride.

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love
and of self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7 NIV).

Truth #3—When You Fail, Confess and Refuse to Condemn Yourself

If you fail, it only means you still have a pulse.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins…(1 John 1:9 NIV).

There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1 NIV).

Truth #4—Do Not Compare Yourself with Others

Comparisons are demoralizing.

You are unique, one of a kind; therefore you are incomparable.

…When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise (2 Corinthians 10:12 NIV).

Truth #5—Concentrate on God’s Grace

A definition of grace: for one to bow down in order to benefit another/others greatly.

Grace is strength allotted to me to behave myself.

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! (1 John 3:1 NIV).

Truth #6—Associate with Positive People

As we associate, we become.

Your closest friend is a mirror of the future you!
He who walks with the wise grows wise… (Proverbs 13:20 NIV).

Truth #7—Learn How to Rejoice in All Things

The key facet of emotional health is the ability to be thankful and grateful.
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Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:18 NIV).

Truth #8—Have Realistic Expectations of Yourself and Others

Remember, on your best day…you are still “but dust” (see Ps. 103:13-14).

The source of so much grief: unrealistic expectations (see Ps. 39:7).

Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment… (Romans 12:3 NIV).

Truth #9—Growth and Change Are a Process and Are Never Instantaneous

God is the Agent of Change (see John 17:17).

The start is the promise of the finish (see Phil. 1:6; 1 Thess. 5:24).
In God’s corrections, He never stops believing in us!

For whom the Lord loves He reproves, even as a father, the son in whom he delights (Proverbs 3:12).

Truth #10—Do What Is Right and Pleasing to Jesus

Pleasing Jesus is not the same as pleasing people (see Matt. 6:1).

How do you discern the difference between people pleasing and “Papa pleasing?” (See Hebrews 4:12-13.)

If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ (Galatians 1:10 NIV).

Truth #11—Be Positive

Consider fasting from critical remarks.

See how long you can go without saying something negative.

Pray for a mouth filter:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (Philippians 4:8 NIV).

Turn to your heavenly Father now. Pour out to Him your heart’s longing to be loved. See His arms open wide and His empty lap ready to embrace and hold you near. He considers you dear. He longs to give you satisfying love. Perhaps He does desire to give you a man to love also.

But the man you marry cannot meet your need for security. Only God’s love brings security.
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If you would like more information on this topic you can read a free preview of my new book The New Lady in Waiting here: Free Preview or get it here Buy The New Lady in Waiting.

Have a question or comment? Let me know on Twitter or Facebook.

Trusting God

Ruth certainly must have considered the probability of remaining single if she left Moab and went with Naomi. Even though it promised no prospects of a husband, she chose to follow Naomi and Naomi’s God back to Bethlehem.

Ruth chose to trust God with her future. She looked not with sensual sight, but through the eyes of faith. She chose to trust with her heart for the future her eyes could not yet see.

God providentially directed Ruth to the field of Boaz. You’ll find this divine encounter in chapter 2 of the Book of Ruth. It began when “…she happened to come to the portion of the field belonging to Boaz…” (Ruth 2:3).

This leaves no room for manipulation. Ruth’s eyes of faith led her to the exact spot where she would meet Mr. Right, Boaz, whose name suggests a pillar of strength. God rewarded Ruth’s faith with a husband who lived up to his name.

I want to direct my encouragement toward very practical ways of building the faith of young girls, and hopefully some “big girls” as well.

Focusing on God’s Word

The old expression about husbands and wives goes: “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.” I would make the same claim about mothers and daughters. So I hope that you will take the opportunity to be spurred on in your faith walk, and particularly through our emphasis on the Word of God: the Bible.

How do we grow in faith?

The Bible is filled with teaching about this process; and so it is from God’s very Word that we find instruction in raising a Young Lady of Faith. As Paul wrote to the Roman Church in his rich epistle exhorting them: “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ” (Rom. 10:17).

When we study the Bible, we “hear” God’s love for us and His instruction to us; we hear about God’s character and about the character He would work in us. It is not just any word we are hearing, but the Word of God that inspires and nourishes faith. Therefore, the absolute best thing I can focus on involves how you can set your focus and your daughter’s focus on God’s Word, the Bible.

Seven Minutes That Will Change Your Life

Within mere seconds of asking Jesus to come into my heart and take control of my life, I was given my first Bible. Along with it, the youth leader gave me the most life-impacting advice I have ever had. He said, “Jackie, this is your spiritual food. I want you to read it at least seven minutes each day. Seven minutes reading your Bible will begin to feed your spirit.”

As a not-so-sweet sixteen-year-old who had just received God’s glorious gift of forgiveness, I was in a very teachable mode. I took the instruction to “get my seven” very seriously, and actually couldn’t wait to read my Bible. From that day until this day, I have never “recovered” from this privilege.

In addition to the personal privilege of reading and studying the Word of God, it has been the privilege of my life to be called to share the Word with others—not least of all, with my own children. One day this past year my daughter Jessi was running and listening to a podcast by the minister and author Francis Chan. Something he said in this talk caused Jessi to stop still in her tracks, turn off the podcast and call me. She was so excited that I almost missed a few words of her exclamation.

Breathlessly she said, “Mom! I just heard something Francis Chan said and it so reminded me of you that I had to call you this instant!”

My eyes filled with tears as Jessi shared the following quote:

The number one responsibility of every parent is to teach their children to be independently dependent on Jesus and His Word.

If there was one desire I had as a mother, it was this: that my children would become “independently dependent on Jesus and His Word.” And as Jessi quoted these words over the phone, it was a true moment of blessing and affirmation—not only because she is a lover of the Word, but because she is raising her little daughter with the same intention and hope.

What about you?

How do you impart faith into your daughters? Let me know in the comments below!

EDITOR’S NOTE: Want to learn more about Raising a Young Lady of Faith? You can start reading a FREE preview of Jackie’s book Raising a Lady in Waiting here: Raising a Lady in Waiting – Free Preview or you can find it at bookstores everywhere.

You can also bring Jackie’s Raising a Lady in Waiting Curriculum to your home, small group or church. Find out more about that here: www.RaisingaLadyInWaiting.com