Learning to Become Whole Again – Part 1

Becoming Whole

The human body is a fascinating and complex demonstration of the self-sufficiency for which we are fashioned. It knows how to hold on to fat storage when you don’t feed it, it knows how to eliminate waste, and it has been created with a warning system and a mechanism to heal itself.

Our entire body is made to warn of potential trouble and then follow with appropriate action to heal itself. Our soul (feeler, holder of our emotions) is likened to this analogy.

The goal is wholeness. Not just healing, but wholeness.

I recall having a small topical sebaceous tumor on my back and stomach. I discovered the tumor on my back when my bra strap rubbed against it and I would feel a sharp pain. Using a second mirror I examined my back, contacted a surgeon, and had the tumor removed. The surgeon then assessed whether the tumor was benign or malignant. Of course I had great joy to learn that it was merely a fatty tumor growing on a bed of nerves. However, to my dismay, the two-inch incision the doctor made to remove this unwanted nuisance left a gaping scar. That tumor was removed twenty years ago, and yet the scar still remains.

Had the tumor been cancerous and any further treatment deemed necessary, although the outcome would have been successful, the scar still would have remained. What does this all mean? It is the difference between merely being healed and being whole. Healing means the intrusion, the disease has ceased to exist. Wholeness implies there is no evidence that the intrusion or disease ever occurred.

My desire is that we all would be able to progress through the process of wholeness, tearing away the evidence of hardness that our emotional intrusions have left behind. That when others look upon us, they would not be able to see any evidence of our previous pain. No scars of our painful past and no dead skin to hinder us from wearing the now beautiful sandals set aside for our adornment.

My Painful Discovery

Ever notice how often people use phrases like, “I don’t care” or the more contemporary version, “whatever.” These are code words for, “I choose not to let you in,” “I will not be disappointed,” or “I will not be hurt.” They are very effective in shutting people out and shutting communication down. Problem is, how exactly are we to get the love we want or effectively love others if our approach to love is “whatever?”

Does that mean, “whatever love you send God, I’ll take.” Or, “whatever type of emotionally bankrupt relationship comes my way is OK with me.” Or how about, “I don’t care if you attempt to overtake me with kindness, sincerity, and thoughtfulness. Your overtures are irrelevant.”

Of course when we examine this phraseology, it seems irrational that anyone would respond in this manner, however, our daily experiences demonstrate that these conditioned responses make up our most effective arsenal. Actually, they were part of my regular repertoire, which I have to occasionally harness my lips from repeating.

How About You?

So what is your conditioned response? When did you begin that inner dialogue which shut others out in order to guard your heart? When did you begin to say, “I don’t care?” These code words should tell us that pain is present. It can be tough to acknowledge it exists because you may have done a great job of covering it up. Remember, tender footsteps to the ground and initial pain is eventually overwhelmed by continued exposure. Eventually, you no longer can feel it. My personal challenge was to uncover the root of my nonchalant, cavalier attitude.

Next week we’ll look at my own root and how I learned to overcome my own conditioned responses.

EDITOR’S NOTE: If you want to learn more about breaking free from your past and becoming whole you can pre-order Evelyn Watkins book, The Calloused Soul at: Amazon • Barnes and Noble • Books-A-Million • ChristianBook.com and other fine bookstores!